Random thought:

After my husband left he use to get mad because I was mean to him. (*gasp*) I wish I could go back in time and tell him that I wouldn't be so mean to him except for the one little fact that I hate him with the passion of a thousand serial killers and I don't understand why he doesn't just fuck the fuck off and die already.

Isn't that good? It sounds kinda poetic:
I hate you with the passion of a thousand serial killers.

Except, I'm not sure serial killers are passionate so maybe it doesn't have quite the ring I am looking for after all.