Oh. So the reason I was so angry driving home the other day. (I got distracted.) It's not that I'm in love and going to miss him and die without him. Though I think I could be in love with little encouragement. It's not that I had expectations that weren't met. He always meets my expectations (and then some.) I think it was because I was with him for a few days. I helped him unpack. I cooked. I cleaned. I decorated. And then I left and was reminded that I don't actually have that and I miss it. I miss sleeping with someone and being part of a couple. I miss coming home to someone and looking forward all day to seeing him. I go home and I have kids and a drunk ass roommate. But spending a few days with a man; It's like being in a "relationship" almost.
But I can't do that. I have PLANS. I have another couple years of school. I want to move to Portland. I want to get a good job and my own place.
Okay. Sort of. If life were actually a fairy tale and I could live my dream, that's not what I would do. I would get married and be a stay at home wife. I would cook, and clean, and do creative homey stuff. I would have been a great 1950's wife. I even like dresses and shit.
But, life is not a fairy tale and I am not married. So, school, job, and my very own apartment. Yay me.
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